The Darkest Hour of the Night
Accidents which happened in my dreams
Rosie Jackson 2003
Acrylics on canvas, 100 x 80 cm
The darkest hour of the night comes just before dawn. Before we enter the realms of higher enlightenment, and before we can move towards a new spiritual awareness, we must undergo many dark hours of self examination and recognition a process which involves much pain. This figure, for example, who has felt wronged, unappreciated, abandoned and victimized, now realizes that she herself has contributed to her fate by failing to communicate her needs and failing to ask for support. Out of love for others, but also out of fear of rejection, she has automatically taken on too much responsibility and hurt herself in the process.
The hair is still in comparative darkness, entwined with crooked find-self-fingers at the hairline and in a small womb. It also contains the hanging head, overloaded with inspiration and responsibilities. The central foot, where scissors have just cut off four toes, indicates severe self-injury (an accident which happened in one of my dreams), and flames consume a part of the hair, an indication that strength is being sapped away (an accident which happened in reality). Such “accidents” are not actually accidents at all, but incidents which serve to warn us and increase our awareness.
The hungerfish in the sea are disoriented and isolated. But the candles symbols of new knowledge and hope show the way to the light and the golden archways. The two-headed alchemysnake symbolizes the end of the feeling of being separate, and the beginning of knowing that we are all part of everything else. The face is already partially illuminated by the sun, and can also be seen as part of it. The eyes are still closed and in shadow, but they will soon open to the glories of a new day and a new life.